Field Notes: July 24, 2002

I'm sitting here thinking that Doug and Beth are probably being exceedingly creative with their field notes and I'm doing, well, field notes. But, damn glad to be doing anything and will settle for this type, this night.

I didn't really talk yesterday about my social action project. What really stood out to me yesterday was how the focus of most people's work is about people; not necessarily content, but real human emotions, a recognition of the pain and isolation so many of our young students feel (no matter what level).

As for me, I'm not certain where I fit. I'm looking at the social action principles and trying to fit my work into one of them because I really don't want to start something brand new (except I might have to).

One of my jobs is to document the work of the site - perhaps another is to be the Social Action facilitator - to facilitate this group through the 5 step process - as they work through solving a problem (or at least thinking about solving a problem) in their own teaching practice.

I'm struggling with some tensions then. The tension of being a facilitator of the process, an agent for change, but here I am a member of this group - where CSA suggests working alongside, not becoming group member of group leader. It's hard for me to find the space I need to be in and to stay w/in that space - I keep overstepping my boundaries-moving the lines a little-and while I don't think this really hurts anything-it does change the boundaries and I need to be aware of that.

So a second tension is where and how - damn, I went off chasing another thought in my mind and completely forgot what it was that I wanted to characterize as the second tension. Perhaps the second tension then could refer to the fact that social action within the classroom has some pre-set boundaries - certain rules that are already in place (grading, etc.) and that means that there is a strong issue of power to deal with. Despite what we might like to happen, we aren't all created equal in the classroom because the teacher has the power - but, let me think this out a little bit...The fact that the teacher has power is cultural not necessarily real; teacher has power because things like grades are important to students. If we were to value different things, then power could be shifted.

Beth: low confidence, competence Martha: grouping (today); "The top has decided that the bottom can read tomorrow" Diane: read quote writing from yesterday Jeanette: talks about how being mean inhibits student's education Tonda: talks about how intolerance and lack of respect depends upon the survival of the fittest and establishes a pecking order; she mentions power Amy: wondering why students who are intellectually patient tend to succeed while students who are intellectually impatient tend to fail; "students view challenge as a threat to [their] well-being and self-esteem" Toodie: kids having responsibility; talked a lot about her symptoms Doug: wonders about the mindset of success at any cost; how can students recover when they "fall down"; and why do students seem to lack ambition? Marlene: notices the themes in our writings Vickie: wants students to have a "me too" frame of mind

• experience the power
• collaboration
• fear of not being clear
• What would make students love learning?
• creativity squelched in learners
• How much do we have to choose?
• Go create your own world, you don't need to play in mine.
• "real" ideas
• fear is the great hindrance to learning
• heart smart
• better qualified teachers will get the hell out of Dodge
• life is NOT fair
• a urine test for teaching
• I deserve it, dont' you?
• Some "places" work against intellectual pursuits.
• Is there rigor in education programs?
• We must prepare our students to move away.
• dispel the myth (about Appalachia)
• Instead, we leave the development of intellectual abilities up to chance.
• There is fear, in our students [and in teachers?], about changing your mind...
• I wonder whether school systems really want teachers to develop?