Social Action Why 7/24

Why are my roller coaster emotions, my levels of confidence and competence, problems in the classroom? The first thing that comes to mind is these interfere with community. No... what is more important to me than that is... I feel awful. I worry about class, am nervous before entering the classroom. I always take notes with me to class and refer to them often. I love teachers who don't use notes in class, who seem to move with ease through the subject knowing what they're talking about. If I'm more at ease, perhaps my students will pick up on this. Why are the issues of power and participation problems in my classroom. I hate looking out on a sea of dead faces. I hate being responsible, deciding for everyone in the room what we will be reading and writing. I want to feel connected to more students, not just 2 or 3.
The issues of classroom structure and participation is a problem for my students because, as freshmen, they are facing a new experience and, if they're anythin like I was, they're afraid. Afraid maybe of speaking in front of others. Participation by everyone in a respectful environment would mean the facing of those fears in a safe place. Hopefully, the more students face their fears the less afraid they'll be. The issues of roller coaster emotions/confidence and competence levels are problems for my students because these factors influence the focus of the class. Soemtimes students who are talkin in class are talking about the subject matter, not about what a boring teacher I am. Cell phones are a distractions, but I don't want distractions to deter what I think my main focus should be. Where I'm going is... I think low confidence and competence have something to do with my tendency to focus on the negative. Students playing internet pool, classroom chatter, late assignments, etc. are only minor problems and not where I want to focus.